Acceptance

Whenever I hear the word acceptance, it seems it always pertains to something that I’m resistant to bear. Recently I have accepted that my family is complete with my husband and two children, and that in continuing to simplify our lives and reduce those things we no longer need, I needed to re-home lots of baby stuff. I dreaded the thought for so long, but I knew that when I was ready, I would usher the items swiftly out the front door of our classic yet quaint New Hampshire colonial.

Before I arrived at acceptance, I eyed many local families and hoped that I’d find one that was symmetrical to ours so that we could continue passing items back and forth through my children’s school years. If I found one, I thought that’d be a sure sign that it was time. I didn’t find the phantom family that I searched for, but along our journey, I’ve come to know many special people who vowed to put our items to good use.

Many of our newborn and infant toys have been passed along to the team of early intervention specialists who have worked with both of my children. They keep a supply closet of toys, and they also gift extra toys to families who lack the resources to acquire them. I’ve sold a few items that have plenty of life and value in them, such as a pack-and-play and a jumper. And lots of miscellaneous items and an enormous lot of clothes for girls and boys went to a librarian in town whose daughters are both expecting at the same time and will babysit them as often as she can. She now has a changing pad with extra covers, an infant tub with baby bath towels, a box full of plush toys, winter bunting for a baby carrier, a nursery set including linens and wall decals, and enough clothing for quadruplets.

It feels like such a permanent thing — not the re-homing of these items, but the thought of closing the door on the possibility of having a larger family. But as I pass through each room in our home daily, I know that we are at capacity. We’re at capacity in our living space, in the physical sense as my husband and I are now both in our 40s, and in the parenting sense given that our older child has special needs and our younger child needs to be special. We purchased so many of those items with great anticipation of the life our family was about to witness, and now that as we pass them on to deserving friends, we focus on the present.